Super Jabber Jump (Android) Review


Super Jabber Jump is a platformer for Android created by gameone which doesn’t seem like an outright Mario ripoff but still looks bad and probably had Mario in its search tags (a surprisingly common practice).

Getting into the game I used my game reviewer skills (lol) to immediately tear apart its seemingly innocent menu and discover how bad it really was (although the immediate full page ad was a huge red flag). As well as the play button there were 3 options to the left: A cowboy, a speech bubble and settings. The speech bubble was obviously to review the game and settings only had sound and smoothing (which is something I don’t trust) but the cowboy was a major example of bait and switch. Considering these games are made for kids I wouldn’t be wrong in thinking thats some sort of character select but its pretty much an advert button.

There was even one problem you as the reader will never see, I tried to tab out and seemingly couldn’t so I quickly went on standby and left the app that way planning to get angry about how it tried trapping me in the game. However when I posted the usual screenshot it was sideways revealing the devs had tried to pull some sneaky (but mostly idiotic) stuff. Having to rotate screenshots is a pain in the ass.

You can’t go down pipes in this game.

It immediately got far worse though, the second you got onto the level select the existence on microtransactions and premium currency was extremely noticeable, on top of that you had them forced into your face before every level. I was hoping that it wouldn’t make a difference but actually getting in the game gave you a good idea of its quite obvious pay to win nature.

The controls should be easy but something about how the game handles them is really annoying, especially the double jump which feels so awkward to use. On top of that the projectiles shoot straight forwards which just look dumb for hammers and while that is honestly useful that way you only have 3 unless you save up the ones you get by winning levels (which would take ages) or you spend money. Other gameplay elements like breaking blocks didn’t seem right either, power ups seemed useless and there wasn’t really anything special at all.

If that wasn’t bad enough the game is insane with adverts, while in levels you just have a banner ad at the end of the level on the results screen a huge portion of said screen is taken up by an advert. That’s not all though, the game is also totally fine with throwing fuol page ads in your face at the same time further proving the developer is a greedy asshole. In fact I noticed one of the store reviews had called them out for their overuse of ads but the developers basically said you can pay to get rid of them without even a hint of apologising (seems “The customer is always right” doesn’t apply here).

Going through some of the levels from the first world bored me to death, they did introduce secret stashes of coins but it ultimately felt like a poorly implemented gimmick that they’d abuse later on. In fact I was super close to running out of time in the above level despite missing a large amount of the coins needed for 3 stars. The insane lag didn’t help either.

Last of all, I was highly bothered by lack of score in this sort of game. Not saying they’re 100% needed all the time but it would actually give a reason to defeat enemies and win the level as quickly as possible. Its true that the scoreboard would be pay to win also but I highly doubt thats why the developer didn’t add one, adding everything up its obviously just pure laziness.

Overall this is one of many terrible platformers and a good example of what happens when a developer is too interested in make as much money as possible. Don’t download it.

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