[You could say this is the first version, I really need some feedback or i won’t be able to carry on not knowing whether it’s any good. Also feel free to come up with a name for the city.]
The story takes place in ??? city, a strange place where almost everyone believes in the supernatural and rumors are spread like clockwork. Chris, a 20 year old college student, was unlike the others although not in a good way. He was the only person that didn’t believe in something so making friends was almost impossible but it didn’t help he was also the laziest person ever too. The day started like any other:
It was 9am on a Monday and Chris was still slouched over his bed in his clothes from yesterday. His floor was filled to the brim with rubbish like cans and sweet packets while his shelves were stuffed with anime DVDs and manga he hadn’t even unwrapped yet. Suddenly there was a loud bang on his door, it was Chris’ little sister Sarah. “Mum told me to wake you up” Sarah yelled while continuously hitting the door. “I’m getting up…” Chris said as he literally rolled off his bed into the surprisingly soft pile of wrappers. He then changed clothes into some generic and incredibly scruffy looking ones that had literally been thrown in his wardrobe and dug through the rubbish to grab a chocolate bar for breakfast before finally leaving his room.
Leaving his room his little sister was still waiting but Chris ignored her, he doesn’t bother talking to his family either. On the way down the stair and towards the front door he bumps into his older brother Anthony wearing his work uniform, a strange pure white suit with loads of added details that Chris couldn’t be bothered to look at properly. Anthony seemed to have waited for Chris and both a harsh yet slightly caring “Chris, me and dad both know you chose college merely because you don’t want to work alongside him. You could at least try harder to-”,however before he could finish the sentence the door was slammed and Chris had already left.
On his way to college Chris usually found himself hearing other people’s conversations and learnt most of the supernatural rumors despite not wanting to, although even if someone had been talking about something he liked he would never join the conversation. The newest rumor was about something called soul linking, the supposed ability to link your own soul to an otherwise normal object in your possession in order to give it supernatural abilities. Although no one was taking it seriously as usual, he noticed that a lot of girls joked that they’d make their phones never run out of battery for example.
Getting into college Chris put his head down and started walking towards his classroom in order to avoid conversation. He’d gotten pretty good at it as well and had almost made it the whole way without speaking to anyone until he suddenly collides with another student, a fellow classmate named Daniel. They both hit the floor quite hard and Daniel’s pencil practically flew out of his pocket across the corridor. However while Chris was prepared to apologise Daniel merely picked up his pencil and walked into class like nothing had happened. This took Chris by surprise as he expected an argument and despite the fact he liked this outcome more he couldn’t help but be slightly curious about it.
During a written test they were doing Chris took multiple quick looks at Daniel but he was always writing, he never saw him open a pencil case or use a sharpener. Chris then remembered there was a rumor that Daniel merely swapped pencils whenever they went blunt because he comes from a ridiculously wealthy family but that was quickly proved wrong during a later lesson. “Daniel, have you got a spare pencil?” a classmate asked with an embarrassed look on their face. “I don’t sadly, as you can see here” Daniel replied, opening his school bag to reveal mostly art related things and pages filled with numbers. Chris thought this was a bit weird and decided to joke about it. “Have you got a pencil that never runs out or something. I’ve never seen you use a sharpener. Hahaha” although to his surprise Chris could swear Daniel had a look of fear for a second before laughing awkwardly and pulling a small used pencil from his pocket. While Chris felt it may be an excuse this ultimately caused him to lose interest and he went home hoping he could just pretend nothing happened like he usually did.
The next few hours were spent playing video games, especially RPG’s although even then he never joined parties or guilds despite being quite good at them. Since he didn’t care that much about himself there was no way he’d care about others as he’d say to himself. Getting tired and almost falling asleep Chris was suddenly called by Cassandra, his mother. “Chris, i forgot to buy dinner again. Could you go get something?” she said with an embarrassed look, Chris could never tell if it was because of stress or just stupidity but his mum made a lot of weird mistakes. “Yes…” said chris with such a lack of enthusiasm that he almost sounded like a zombie as he took the money and practically fell out the front door.
On the way back from the shop he couldn’t help but notice Daniel entering into a dark alley with some mysterious hooded figure. While Chris wanted to leave he knew it would end up worse if something were to happen and found himself listening in. “You know what happens if you let the secret out” the mysterious man says as he slams a frightened Daniel against the wall. “B-But it was only a joke, he didn’t actually find out” said Daniel making no attempts to escape from his far stronger attacker. “He’ll know soon enough” replied the mysterious hooded man who then suddenly points a finger towards Chris, who thought he was hidden, before stealing the pencil out of Daniels pocket and proceeding to snap it in half. However when the pencil snapped so did Daniel leaving him dying in a pool of blood. What had Chris just seen? What could he do now? What will happen next?
–End of Chapter–
Thanks for reading if you did, like I said at the start I really need feedback on things that could possibly be fixed. It may be my first story I’ve actually gotten partially written but I want it to turn out well since if anything this is the sort of thing that you’d see in comics with loads of chapters and volumes.